I am now 30 weeks pregnant. It feels like 300 weeks haha. I’m excited for the birth. That’s what makes us surrogates a little weird I think. We look forward to something most people fear.
But we look forward to the birth because it is so exciting for the parents! This has been 18 months of hard work and we can’t wait for that moment when they get to hold their child for the first time. Oh the emotions!
My doctor wants to induce me in the 39th week. According to WHO research, they have determined that pregnancies are not as safe for the baby to continue past 40 weeks. I have delivered all of my previous pregnancies at 41 weeks when I’ve gone into spontaneous labor.
I’m a bit nervous about getting induced. I try to take a more natural approach to things and I don’t want to force something early that’s not ready. My IFs feel pretty similarly. Obviously our doctor said she can only make recommendations and it’s up to us to decide what to do. We’re going to decide when it gets closer.
My IFs are coming to Minnesota at about week 37/38. They are staying in Minneapolis and have rented a pretty trendy condo. I can’t wait to see it and I’m soooo excited to see them again!
I decided to gift them a newborn photography session. This will be a surprise. I searched high and low for the perfect photographer and finally found her. She specializes in creating intimate images that really capture the emotion of the parents. I hope they love it.
I’m trying to decide if I want to do a maternity photo shoot. I’ve never done one before. Have you? Part of me feels it’s a bit silly to waste so much money on pictures of yourself. Then the other part looks at other people’s beautiful images and I want one of my own. This might be my last pregnancy so it might be a now or never situation!
What do you think? Do you recommend getting maternity photos taken? Send me your thoughts!
Surrogacy has brought so much into my life. New friends, close relationships with the families I carried for, expanded mindset, newfound appreciation for infertility struggles, etc. It’s one of the greatest decisions I’ve made.
One thing that has been annoying though is that when you are pregnant for surrogacy, you don’t seem to get the same “break” as you do when you’re pregnant with your own child. What I mean is that people still expect a lot out of you that I don’t think they would if you were pregnant for yourself. Usually when you’re pregnant, people are more willing to let you rest or not burden you with some task. When it comes to surrogacy, it seems as if people think you shouldn’t be as tired or that they shouldn’t ask you for extras. At least this is my experience.
This is especially true when it comes to my parents. They will still schedule something without seemingly much thought if it was too much for me at the moment. Such as they knew we were coming back from a weekend trip and decided to schedule a Christmas celebration for that very same day at 4:00 pm. So that day, we drove back from the resort, unpacked, I picked up the dog from the sitter, finished wrapping presents, and was to their house by 4:00 pm. It was hectic and crazy. It made me wonder if they wouldn’t have had that expectation had this not been a surrogacy pregnancy. Maybe for others it’s just viewed as “a job” so you should have to push yourself.
I’m not sure. It’s just something I’ve noticed. Maybe I’m just in a complaining type of mood today and will feel differently tomorrow.
People ask this question all the time. It’s hard not to *eyeroll* at it as I know it’s a perfectly legitimate question.
But sometimes, when I’m not in the mood, I get a bit sassy about it.
First, it’s not my baby. So I’m not giving anything up. I’m giving the baby back to their parents. Because I’m not a kidnapper.
The baby is not genetically related to me or my husband in any way. It’s not even the same race as us.
Second, if I wanted another baby, I would just have one. I wouldn’t go through all the trouble of getting pregnant with someone else’s kid and carrying it for 9 months and then trying to steal it when I know they are going to fight for it. It just sounds ridiculous. I’d literally just get pregnant with my own kid. My husband and I make really cute kids.
Third, if you feel like you could never give the baby up, then you should definitely not be a surrogate. : ) It’s okay if you feel like that, it just means surrogacy is not for you.
What do you think about this question? Could you give the baby up? ; )
When I was 19 and in college, I was talking to one of my roommates. I remember exactly where I was standing when she mentioned that a woman from her hometown was going to be a surrogate.
“What’s a surrogate?” I asked.
She said “oh, that’s when you carry a pregnancy for someone who can’t.”
MIND. BLOWN. Literally, I remember thinking “ohmygod, that’s the coolest thing I’ve ever heard.” I asked if the baby was related to the surrogate and she said “no, it’s related to the parents. They create an embryo and then the surrogate just carries the pregnancy.”
It was in that moment that I decided I was going to be a surrogate. I didn’t even have kids yet and I didn’t even know if I wanted kids. All I knew was in my heart, I felt called to be a surrogate.
Fast forward a few years. I kept surrogacy on my mind and mentioned it to my husband as something I wanted to do. I knew you had to wait until you had your own kids first before becoming a surrogate.
After my son and daughter were born, I felt done having kids. So then I told my husband that I wanted to be a surrogate. He was surprised at first. He didn’t think I was serious. But I was definitely serious. So I started researching surrogacy heavily. At the time, I was working a night shift at a hospital and had quite a bit of time to do internet research.
I spent a lot of time reading surrogate blogs and I learned so much. The more I learned, the more right it felt. I couldn’t wait to get started.
So then I talked to an agency. The surrogate coordinator that I spoke to was a surrogate herself. I kept her on the phone for 2 hours! She was one of the nicest women I’ve ever talked to. That was in 2012 and we still keep in touch.
At that time is when the song “Call Me Maybe” was on repeat all the time. Apparently I told her on the phone that the surrogacy version of that song is “hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here’s my number, I’ll have your baby.” hahahaha . I’m hilarious. She brings this up all the time.
Anyway. Surrogacy was on my heart from the moment I heard about it for the first time. It just felt like the perfect way for me to be able to give to others and have a big impact with my life.
Not only have I built my family, but I have helped build another and now another. It’s life changing. And not only for what it does for the Intended Parents, but what it has done for me. It’s not my only purpose in life but it has given me more of a purpose.
What do you think about surrogacy? Have you thought about doing it? Reach out and let me know!
This is my first blog post introducing myself. I thought I’d tell you a bit about who I am.
My name is Corrin and I live in Minneapolis, Minnesota. I’m married and have two children. I’ve been involved with surrogacy since 2012!!!! Wow does time fly.
I have delivered two surrogacy babies so far and am currently pregnant with my third. My first two surrogate babies were for the same family. Both were girls and they are now 5 and 3 years old. Man – are they cute too! They live in NYC and we keep in touch through sending texts and emails. I love seeing how they are growing and how happy they are.
Like I said, I’m also currently pregnant with a third surrogacy baby. This baby is due in April and is for a gay couple. They live internationally. This couple is amazing! My husband and I have really connected with them and we have a group text that we all contribute to everyday. We’ll send how we are doing, updates, memes, funny videos, everything! They are going to make the best dads and I can’t wait for them to arrive and their little guy to be here.
Other ways I’m involved in the surrogacy world are that I used to work for a surrogacy agency helping coordinate new surrogates. What this means is that when someone is interested in being a surrogate, I would explain to them how it all works, answer their questions, make sure they qualify for surrogacy, and then help them through the beginning stages. I *loved* this job. It was amazing to speak to women everyday about surrogacy.
While working there, I was in grad school to become a therapist. It’s been my lifelong dream to be a therapist. So once I graduated, I reluctantly said goodbye to the agency and began my own private practice as a therapist. At first I started off in specializing in maternal mental health but then realized I *love* doing couples counseling so I transitioned my specialty. I still see some people for maternal health, infertility, pregnancy and surrogacy but mainly I see couples. I also do psychological assessments for surrogates. More on that later.
One last area I’m involved in the surrogacy community is through advocacy. Every April, during the legislative period, we advocate for surrogacy at the Minnesota capitol in St. Paul. We meet with legislators and tell them our experience with surrogacy. Surprisingly, Minnesota doesn’t have any laws on the books on surrogacy. We’d like to change that. We want them to add laws to help regulate the process for everyone. I’ll talk more about that later as well.
A few last things! Surrogacy has brought into my life some of my favorite relationships. Some of my best friends ever now are surrogates! I think I’m going to have a few of them do guest posts talking about their experiences too. One of the things I always tell people about surrogacy is that it brought some of my best friendships and we all know how hard it is to make friends as an adult!
One of the things my surrogacy agency does are two big social events each year. These are *the best!* We get to hang out with other surrogates and their families, have fun and win prizes. Honestly, the community aspect of surrogacy is just amazing to me. Being a part of something larger than myself, being able to give to others and help them build their families, and making new friendships has added so much to my life. I think my family has grown from this too. I’ll talk more about that later but one thing I know for sure is that my kids value how important and life changing it can be to help others and they learned that through surrogacy. I’m excited to see what kind of adults they grow into from this.
Okay, I’m going to leave it there for now. Nice to meet you and welcome to my blog! Let me know your thoughts or reach out if you have any questions.